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YThursday, March 29, 2007
What Is Your Impression? Labels: Thought Of The Day
Why is it some people like to consistently quote great thinkers, philosophers, intellectuals or whoever else in their conversations?
Is it because they find it necessary to demonstrate to the entire world how well-read they are?
Or is it because they can't come up with anything of their own with any sort of substance or value and are thus forced to borrow from others whom are far cleverer than themselves?
YSunday, March 25, 2007
Tears Of Joyful Exuberance and Sad Remembrance Labels: Random Stupidity, Spontaneously Spouting Silly Stuff
Oh dear me. It appears my descent into the common and uninspiring has not reached it's climax yet. Previously I gave you a recount of my day, which I must admit, even shocked myself. Yet today, I sink even lower. Will this never end? The next time you see me, I may even write for "Today" or (let it not be so!) The New Paper.
So today, I bring to you yet even more inconsequential (but hopefully) interesting tripe.
With that tone, let's begin today's memorial service.
I forgot to mention, today's post marks another milestone for me. (Yes, I appear to have many milestones.) Anyway, it's the first time I'm going to show pictures that I've taken myself. Not those taken off the internet. Please excuse the grainy images and untrained photography.
(Notice the extremely classy and expensive Oakley pouch.)
Today, we are gathered across cyberspace, in a memorial for our dear sweet friend, whom has been an important part of my life, for several years. We are here for you, Sony Ericsson T630.
Cliche as it may be, it seemed like only yesterday when we first met. Me, a mere child, innocent and curious, who had yet to explore the world and understand the truths of the universe. You,
were sent to me, like an angel, at first we were strangers, and since then, we've spent many days constantly by each other's side.
When you were first presented to me, I thought nothing of you. I was brash, and self-assured. I could do everything on my own. I didn't need the help of anyone. In my mind, the world was my oyster. But it was you, your wisdom and your quiet reserve showed me I was utterly wrong. You were the window into my soul. I could see that I had much to learn, and that I would need help along the way, in my journey of life.
As the days trickled past, like a meandering stream through a green meadow under a cloudless brilliant blue sky, you helped me immensely. You showed me the importance of keeping in touch with valued friends. You kept me entertained in times of boredom, with your wide array of games. You were the one that camwhored with me, when no one was willing to do so, condemning me "freak".
However, as the days wore on, like the passage of time, through the seasons of Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, you reached the winter years of your life as well. You bore many scars across your body, the etchings of wind and weather. And some were, I ashamed to say, the effects of my carelessness, as well as my wrongdoings. Yet you wore your scars with pride, as if they made your life more worth living. The scratches on your face, the worn and faded markings of your family name, the pockmarked surfaces of your body. To you, they were meant to be showed off, reminders of the challenges of life.
Yet, even you couldn't withstand the ravages of time. Your arm became weak and unresponsive, your stamina low, your hearing a fraction of what it used to be. When you no longer responded to my touch, I knew that your time was almost at an end. I didn't want to let you go, but I knew it was for the best, and was the better alternative, as compared to watching your body waste away even further, turning you into a shadow of your once proud self.
Farewell, my dear T630, your life has enriched mine beyond compare, my memories of you will remain forever, in the sweet remembrance of our friendship.
Farewell.
T630, perhaps the greatest gift to me, is the constant reminder of you, through the image of your son, K610im.
The resemblance is uncanny. And he's just like you, follows all your patterns, responds the same way that you do, the only difference is the energy that comes with youth. He is most definitely your son. I look forward to telling him grand stories of our exploits.
Parting can be such sweet sorrow. The wounds will probably never heal, but yet, there is hope. The hope of a better future, and that hope lies, simply, in the children of the world.
YTuesday, March 20, 2007
A Voyage Into Familiar Territory (Part Two) Labels: Random Stupidity, Spontaneously Spouting Silly Stuff
I continue my cookie-cutter post describing my life. However, I'm the mold of my cookie-cutter is somewhat unique. I'm writing about what happened on a Friday. Today is a Tuesday. Chances are, I may have forgotten what happened and just make something up. You wouldn't know the difference anyway. I also happen to have a point at the end of this post. Really.
So anyway, after my OG Outing, I went to play pool with my secondary 4 classmates. When I got to the pool hall, I was greeted with a sight to behold. We had 4 tables, and about 15 people came. Our most successful class outing was held only after we had disbanded. It was interesting to meet up with them after they had adjusted to JC life, and seeing how they had changed, and remained the same. Sean Poh, with his chemically enhanced bosom that could rival even the most well endowed female. His chest seemed to be even bigger than before (if that's possible), no doubt due to his strict regime of workouts, and diet of pure protein. Jared Dass, whose massive ego made him self-delusional, seemed to have an even higher opinion of himself. He told me that he got into RJC through "Sex Appeal" as well as "Handsomeness". Zachary Tay, whom I've sparred with previously in many a lightsabre fight, and had too many conversations with regarding Pokemon, seemed to have lost some of the essence (lameness) of that made him Zachary. However, I believe this is just a temporary lull in his Force Powers, and he will make a quick recovery to power and awesomeness. From what I hear, he's also quite the lady's man in NJC.
What can I say, I've got interesting friends. Oh yea. Albert, Zac, and Sean Poh. You guys owe me money. $5.
So anyway, pool was fun and full of nostalgia. It turned out I wasn't as bad as I thought. Or maybe it's just that my friends suck more than me. What happened next surprised me. I was also supposed to meet a group of Sec2 classmates on the very same day as well. I hadn't planned on actually doing it, but they appeared at the same pool hall that day. The events that next transpired can actually be found on Javier's blog. So if you're interested, go visit his blog and make him feel happy by increasing the counter. It will make him all warm inside.
Don't you dare accuse me of being lazy. He did a satisfactory job, with even photos and videos, so why should I bother to repeat the same things he said? This is called 'Making Good Use Of Your Friends". Come back when you're done. So once the event in Javier's blog unfolded, it was already far too late for me to go home. And I couldn't bear to part with the money required to take a taxi. So I had only one choice left. Stay at my friend's house. He lives in Orchard. Rich kid.
At his house, considering the fact that we were SJI boys, you know what we did. We did gay things. Because we're all gay. Every single one. I can't stress this enough. Because it's true. Go tell all your friends.
I woke up the next morning, finding the friend whom actually lived at the house curled up on the floor, clutching a blanket with shivering fingers, his face close to someone's pair of dirty socks, and myself sharing a bed with one of my friends. It was astounding that both of us could fit on a single bed. I'm round, and he's like 8 feet tall. We can, apparently, bend the laws of physics. One of our secret SJI techniques, I suppose.
I left the company of my friends only in the afternoon.
Friends are an important part of my life. They are an important part of everyone's life. We laugh, we cry, we smile. We enjoy each other's company. We cheer each other on in times of hardship and struggles. We shed tears for each other's losses and downfalls. However, you can't expect to be best friends with everyone. It takes time to develop the bond between friends. Intimacy takes time. I've known my Sec2 classmates for slightly over 4 years, Sec4 classmates for slightly over 2, and OG friends for only a few months. I'm sure you can guess which people I'm closest to in general. There's nothing wrong with any of my friends. They are all good people, with their own quirks that make them special. I'm thankful for all of them.
There are friends with whom you have to organize outings and less than half of them turn up, then there are friends with whom you can just walk up to without saying "hi" or giving any sort of acknowledgment, and just get on with things. Finally, there are friends with whom you can sit with chatting till the buses are no longer running, stay overnight together having no prior arrangements, and share a bed without any awkwardness or hesitation.
YSaturday, March 17, 2007
A Voyage Into Familiar Territory. (Part One) Labels: Random Stupidity, Spontaneously Spouting Silly Stuff
Today marks a milestone in my "career" as a writer. No, I haven't signed any contracts, neither have I sold my soul to corporate investors, nor have I shouted out to the whole world my shallowness and materialism by publicly gloating that I received a free nose job.
I'm not that stupid.
Anyway, I vaguely remember in the past I stated that I wouldn't, to a large extent, talk about my life, because I'm boring. But today is different. I must talk about how I spent Friday 16th March 2007. I simply must. It was exceptional. It was astounding. It was spectacular. Hearing about it will change your life.
Please don't be angry if today's post sucks. I just hate being criticized. I hate it so bad. It makes me hurt inside.
Anyway, I had training in the morning. It started at 830. I reached school at 900. Training was pretty uneventful, except for two things. The first thing was that I learned how to spin and throw the discus. Like the way the pros do it at the Olympics. Except without the obscene shouting and groaning and other noises. And without the distance. It's quite difficult. (I guess I'll talk about this another time. I realize I'm quite long winded.) The second interesting that happened was that we had a "Throwers' Meeting". Our coach is from China, and hence he can only converse fluently in his first language. Unfortunately, his first language isn't my first language. You see, SJI and AC have made me into a person who loves English with an undying and everlasting passion.
I'm the type of person who goes: "HuaYuCool? What does FlowerFishCool mean? Are you high?"
Hence, with my pathetic inability to communicate in my native tongue, combined with the coach's thick Chinese accent, I was rendered utterly clueless. But I do know he wasn't happy. I can see people's faces. I can interpret people's expressions. Later I found out from (I swear this is true. I don't make the stereotypes. I just see them.) my friend who was from RV, that he wasn't scolding us, and that he didn't say anything that we couldn't observe on our own, or didn't already find out for ourselves.
After training, I rushed to Vivocity for my OG outing. It was interesting, to say the least. When I first arrived, there were 5 people, including me. Four of them were girls. I was not. Am not. Will not be. I had to admit, it was somewhat awkward. They would girltalk, I would walk a few paces behind. Trying hard to think about something else. Anything else. They negotiated about where we would have lunch. I stared into space impassively. Contrary to Javier's belief, I'm not fussy.
Fortunately, a guy soon came. Unfortunately, that guy was Elson. For those of you who don't know Elson, he's the stickman in ACJC. He's from SJI as well. So he's weird. And gay. We all are. Because you see, SJI injects every new boy with their special SJI serum. (Don't tell anyone. It's classified information.) It makes us weird. And gay. This is all in our plan for world dominations. We shall be the founding fathers of a magnificent new society. We will topple the oppressive tyrants who dare proclaim themselves defenders of democracy. Onward! For Glory! SJI! SJI! SJI!
It was a sight to behold. Two boys. One was bony and angular, the other, fleshy and curvy.
After that, I'm horrified to admit, we went shopping. It was a harrowing ordeal. 2 guys, following 6 girls around a shopping mall. I did learn several things though. Girls are weird. Some like to hang M&Ms on their ears. Others prefer to have mismatched biscuits dangling from their earlobes, completely unaware of the danger of hungry hobos just running up to them and biting their ears in a desperate quest for stray morsels of food. Some like to wear shoes with belts on them. Don't ask me why. Then there are those who, in their desire to look good, have taken to slaughtering countless mermaids and mermen, for their shiny and reflective scales, to make shoes stained with blood. The blood of fictitious mythical creatures.
I didn't know this, but guys and girls shop differently. For a guy, like a normal guy, not Javier, he will go shopping when he needs to. He goes into a shop, sees something he likes, tries it on, and pays money for it. Simple as that. There are certain variations, including buying things without trying them on, (I'm guilty) or maybe even heading straight for the discount racks.
Girls on the other hand, shop for fun. I cannot comprehend that. They walk around, rifle through the hangers, touch everything, feel the materials, look at the price tag, make comments, and then, walk out.
To stave off the fast approaching insanity that would engulf our minds and turn us into zucchinis, Elson and I came up with ingenious idea. In order to keep the retard sickness at bay, we would act like retards so the retard molecules would think we were already retards and not try and inject us with their retard seedlings which would spawn and multiply and make us into retard drones that are retarded.
Ya. We doed that.
Polka dotted dressed were just old and moldy. Tops became dresses for really short girls. Dresses became singlets for really tall girls, and they needed to be tucked in. Purses turned into pencil cases. Skirts transformed into curtains. And necklaces and bracelets were candy.
Though it may seem unlikely at this time, I do have a point. However, that is for the second part of this post. I remember someone said my posts were too long. This is my solution to it. Cut the essay into half.
YTuesday, March 13, 2007
Orientation. Wait, Didn't I Do This Before? Labels: Musings
I know I haven't posted an update in a while. I prostrate myself before your shining glory in my futile and pointless attempt to grovel for mercy. You are good and beautiful and wonderful and righteous. I am not worthy.
Yea. I'm sorry. It's just that I have been pretty busy during the past week. JC life is tough and all that. I love being a pity whore.
So, on the 8th and 9th of March ACJC held the second orientation, during which the second intake students would familiarize themselves with their new school, meet new people, and master their "AC Rich Bastard" attitude and look, that apparently, we all possess. The first intake students, (myself included) were also invited back to have a good time, and hence, not have to go for lessons to learn new things and do the things we were supposed to do.
All in all, a pretty decent deal for us.
For those of you who don't know, I did post my thoughts regarding the first orientation previously. If you would like to see it, go look for it yourself. Don't be lazy. When you're done, come back.
Now I think it's pretty obvious what this post is going to be about.
Compared to the first one, second orientation was, I'm sorry to say, a dismal failure. However, I must state that the blame cannot be placed soley on the council or the OGLs. (Orientation Group Leaders. Duh.) Neither can it be placed on me. I'm not evil. I don't go about destroying people's lives. The blame, I have to say, is to be placed upon everyone's shoulders. Everyone, from principal lady that drives a blue BMW to canteen uncle that sells bottled iced milo at $1 each, and new student who was rejected from NJC and sent to ACJC instead.
Second orientation is neither here nor there. For the first intake students, it was just a chance to slack off. Many of us already were already content with the first experience, it was wonderful, something to be remembered forever. Being forced to go through it again was quite pointless, really. As a result of our mandatory participation, we weren't as enthusiastic as we could have been. You know how it is with kids right? Tell them to do something, and they won't. Forbid them to do something, and they freaking hell will do it. What can I say? We're complicated.
For the second intake students, orientation is an incredibly awkward experience. They are thrown into a situation where they are alone, surrounded by a group of people who are relatively close. They are forced to make friends and integrate within a few hours. Many of them have preconceived notions of ACJC, and are desperate to head for, what they believe to be, greener pastures. In my OG, I remember this RV guy with transition lenses, who had a look of absolute glee when his appeal to RJC was successful. Congratulations to him.
The leader people had to do a lot of work for the first Orientation. I could see it in their faces. It must have been really tiring. Having to do the same things for the second one, must have been a struggle. I'm sure they spent hours interrogating themselves.
"Why the hell are you doing this? Stop wasting your time. Don't waste your time caring for these J1 morons. You've got exams coming soon. Flee! Flee like the wind!"
Yes. That's what they would have done.
As a result of all the contributing factors, we ended up with a half-hearted attempt. For example, on the first day, my OG, about 20 people, turned up, but we were more interested in lunchtime. On the second day, about 3 people didn't come. By the middle of the second day, 10 people were left participating in the games. Hooray for our passion.
However, there was a silver lining to this massive cloud. Those who did participate did have fun. Not because of the games, mind you. But because we acted like idiots. And whenever people act like idiots, a good time is guaranteed. We also had a really good time during our dinner break. I don't know why. Maybe it was because it didn't have the feel of an official event. Perhaps the reason was that we were out of school. I have no idea. Don't expect me to know everything.
This second intake business has left me emotionally drained. As you may know, I'm not the most involved person in the world. Angelina Jolie adopting another child from Antarctica isn't really on my priority. It's wonderful that there's a new Nokia phone coming out, go tell your mother. There are some things in this world I just really can't be bothered with. However, there are some things that I do care about, and one of those things are friends. And it's very painful to have them taken away from you. About 8 people, a third of my class, couldn't make it back to ACJC. It's such a shame. I got to know those people, laughed, played, shared, and now I won't get the same chance anymore. Even as things are now, I barely have enough time for myself. Though this may sound cold and abnormal, I would rather have not met them, than to have this happen.
I know this post isn't particularly funny. Give me a break. I'm tired. You can't expect me to be a joker all the time. There are times when I'm boring. But you can expect the next post to be more humorous. I promise.
Oh, Da'yl stone.
YSunday, March 4, 2007
$$$ Labels: Current Affairs
I was originally going to write a descriptive essay, until I read, in my favorite paper, a wonderful piece of news, that I absolutely must comment on.
However, let me first reiterate the basic points of the article.
"Ministerial, civil service salaries expected to go up"
According to Defense Minister Teo Chee Hean, increase will depend on how far civil servants' pay has lagged behind the private sector, and that salaries will be linked more closely to performance.
There are certain things about this information, and the article itself, that annoy me. Greatly.
First of all, let me say that there definitely people who deserve the pay rise. The first people who come to mind are teachers. (Yes, I'm serious. I'm not sucking up. I highly doubt that any teachers will stumble onto my blog anyway.) Why do I say this? Because teachers have to deal with kids, and sad to say, many kids are pricks. I should know. The students can be very, very, mean. Back in SJI, many of our teachers had been dubbed with nicknames. Unfortunately, the nicknames were more slanted towards being insults and put-downs. I was not mean enough to come up with the names, but I was mean enough to laugh along. Right now, in ACJC, few of our teachers have been christened with new names yet, but I'm sure their time will come. In SJI, we also exploited every single physical and emotional trait of our teachers, and an endless flow of jokes came forth.
So, give them the money. They deserve it. It may offer them solace from the knowledge of their pitiful excuse of an existence.
However, there are civil servants who, I feel, don't really deserve the raise. Those would be ministers and other high-ranking officials. According to the article, services lagging behind the public sector would get a greater pay rise, and one of the services that will get a big raise is the Administrative Service. And it goes without saying, ministries are part of the Administration Service.
Singaporean ministers are one of the highest paid in the world. Really. For example, George Bush gets paid about $400,000 USD per year. While a Singaporean minister is about $800,000 USD per year. That figure, is of course, for lower ranked ministers, one would expect the prime minister to be paid more. What this tells me, is that Singaporeans think that our ministers have a job that's at least twice as important as that of George Bush. Hmm.
One reason for this, given to us unworthy peasants, is that the civil service must be competitive, so as to attract those who are "talented" and "elite" to come work for them. Nonsense. A civil servant should have the passion to work for the people, and for the good of his country. He shouldn't be focused on how he himself will benefit from his line of work. There are people, whom are able to work for charities, doing noble work for free, and not consider their compensation. That's what our minister's should be like. Willing and able to work. There aren't many people out there like that, but hey, there aren't that many openings for ministers as well. I'm not saying the ministers should work for free, just for an amount suitable for the importance and skill required for the job.
Another reason given is that they need to be given a high pay to prevent corruption. It removes the temptation of stealing people's money and doing other bad bad things. You can see how well that works, with TT Durai and the rest of the NKF crew. That I understand completely, but do they really need to be paid such disproportionate amount? SGD$1,200,000 is a lot of money. That's about $100,000 a month. That's about $3,000 a day. I don't even know how one can spend that much money. I honestly don't. It must be nice having to think of creative ways to spend your own money.
"Oh dear! I've got a spare grand lying around. Anyone up to buying bottles of wine and throwing them in the ocean?"
If I was at their age, and earned one-fifth of their salary, I wouldn't be very disappointed.
Yet, our ministers see it fit to raise their salary further.
That's not the only problem I have. The way information is conveyed to the general public infuriates me. The government has done it numerous times. They release information in stages, depending on the situation and timing. For example, they told us about the progress package, which was, to be fair, giving our own money back to us, just a few days before Election Day 2006. Nothing unscrupulous or conscienceless, of course. They did it again, when they told us about the GST Hike only after the elections, and claimed that they only thought about it from the day after elections, and they had absolutely no intention of doing it beforehand. The most recent time they did it was regarding this issue, when they told us that civil servants would get a pay rise, only after the big hoo-hah over the GST issue had died down.
But fortunately, there are people like me, the purveyors of truth, seekers of justice, and champions of all that is sweet and juicy, who like to criticize others. Tremble in the shadow of my self-righteousness! Gaze with awe upon my cape of ego! Worship the soles of my sandals of tranquility!
So anyway, GST is collected from the people right? And the money goes to the government right? And civil servants work for the government right? And civil servants are getting a pay raise right? And ministers are civil servants right?
So, basically, we're paying more GST so that our various ministers can buy that 2nd or 3rd chauffeur-driven BMW that they so desperately need.
I'm not done yet. It also really irritates me that we, the people of Singapore, aren't given any say in this issue. None at all. Let's be clear, people who work for the government are civil servants. Since we (okay, my parents) pay taxes, I can come to the conclusion that Lee Hsien Loong works for me. So, in that case, since I'm the employer, I should be in charge right?
However, Singapore's servants aren't really treated like servants, in fact, it's more like the other way around. I mean, honestly, don't the citizens get a say at all? The way things are right now, its like having your maid telling you how much you're gonna pay her.
And what the hell happened to democracy? I don't know, but having someone tell you how things are going to be, and that you WILL accept it and be joyful and frolic in the meadow doesn't sound all that democratic to me. In fact, I would say it sounds, I don't know, more like fascism or a dictatorship.
If tomorrow, you read in the newspaper, that an ACJC student was run over by a brand new BMW, you will know why.
Farewell.
YThursday, March 1, 2007
ACS Founder's Day and The Straits Times
Two seemingly unrelated topics.
Yet, an exhilarating tale involving these two intertwined entities is about to unfold before your very eyes!
Not really. It's just that I have two topics today.
First of all, Founder's Day. It is an unspoken rule that These sort of events are meant to be borings. (Might I add, ACJC demonstrated its excellence in this discipline.) They aren't meant to be fun or interesting. They are mere formalities. Nobody wants to be there. Nobody. Not the Principal Kelvyna Chan. Not the ACS OBA GUY. (I wonder. Assuming that OBA stands for Old Boy's Association, then what do the girls join? SJI also had an OBA, but they did not have this problem.) Not even the Guest-of-Honour, Dr. Vivian Balamynameiswaytoolong. Minister of Something-Or-Other, and Second Minister Of Something-Else-Or-Other.
Founder's Day is, in a word, demoralizing. It serves the sole purpose of making me feel like a failure. The image of people much better than me in any conceivable way is branded onto my retinas, charred reminders of my inadequacies. People with 9 distinctions for A levels. People who's lives were spent doing noble, thankless work. Ministers who earn much more money than I ever will. I, however, can find solace in one fact. Many of these overachieves will die alone. Really. They will be surrounded by immeasurable wealth, fancy cars, luxurious mansions, diamond-studded watches. But they will still die alone. Nobody wants to be with someone who is so damn good.
How do I know no one enjoys things like Founder's Day? For one thing, quite a large percentage of the college population was nowhere to be seen today. On the way to school today, while past the entrance of the school,I heard a snippet of a girl's conversation with a friend on her cellphone. It went something like this.
"Let's skip Founder's Day."
I could only hear one side of the conversation.
Said girl then proceeded to walk back out of the gate, embracing the freedom and reveling in the joy known as not going to school. What puzzles me is why said girl decided to wake up early in the morning at 6 a.m, put on the school uniform, travel from home to school, and only after all that's said and done, decide not to go to school.
Perhaps you are wondering now, why is it that with my visible dislike of Founder's Day, that I decided to go to school on this day. I have a very good reason. After Founder's Day, I had to be at a meeting in school. Of course, the meeting only lasted about five minutes.
However, I did learn a lesson from this ordeal.
Next year I'm going to fall ill on the 1st of March.
The Straits Times.
Indulge me, once again, if you will. Take today's copy of The Straits Times. Flip to page 3. Look at the article. Laugh.
It appears that The Straits Times is full of comedians. The article states that ST has won several prestigious awards for their newspaper. After having gained your respect, they then proceed to lose all of it when you go on to read and find out that the awards were given by Singapore Press Holdings. For those of you who don't know, SPH prints the ST.
SPH giving the ST an award is like having me say: This year's prestigious Tan Deyong Foundation award for best Tan Deyong goes to... Tan Deyong!
Utter nonsense.
However, fret not, for the other SPH papers also won awards. New Paper, Chinese Morning Paper, Chinese Evening Paper, Tamil Paper, and Malay Paper. They all got something.
So, it's all good.