Self
Tan Deyong
Criticisms/Compliments
Accomplices
Remember
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
July 2008
August 2008
October 2008
Credits
YSunday, February 24, 2008
Labels: Thought Of The Day
Valentine's Day, Orientation 2 have passed. Cheeky grins and the tinkle of merry laughter fade from my consciousness.
Term exams are fast approaching.
I'm gonna pretend that I'm busy studying.
But I lie, lie, lie to myself.
Hoping for the wakeup call that I so desperately need.
Enjoying (while it lasts) the illusion of the importance of my puny, miniscule, insignificant life.
YSunday, October 7, 2007
Like The Devil, Except In A Skirt Labels: Thought Of The Day
There are some things in this world that terrify me.
One of those things is/are (I really don't know which one I should use in this instance) women. More specifically, women who are walking.
When we walk, its perfectly natural for us to swing our arms. We all know this. It's a measure taken to keep balance while walking, so as to not fall flat on our faces and have our friends point and laugh at us. But then they would probably fall over too. Then we would get up and laugh at them. And we'd fall. Oh, what a vicious cycle.
Anyway, when you walk, you may notice that while you do swing your arms, the angle isn't very large. If you take vertical to be the normal, then I would say that your arm oscillates at no greater than 15 degrees both ways.
I sound like such a nerd. This is what studying Physics does to you. At least I have an entire year to forget what I've learned for my Promos exams, which are over, by the way. Yay for that.
Okay. However, if you make an attempt to consciously notice your arm swingage (not a word, I know) you would find that it would not follow the patterns it normally follows. This can be said of all subconscious activities. Next time, try to do the same for your breathing and blinking as well. You'll start to foam at the mouth. Or better yet, try to pinpoint the exact moment before you fall asleep.
Back to my point. So there are some women in this world, who for some inexplicable reason, have the tendency to swing their arms with obscenely large angles. I cannot draw any conclusions as to why, or even how they are able to do that. When I try to mimic them, I immediately feel tired and I can hear unsettling cracking noises along the length of my arm.
They have mad skillz. Respect.
I estimate their arm swinging oscillations to be about 40 to 45 degrees. Now you may be asking yourself, why is this moron talking about women swinging their arms while they're walking? And why is he afraid of them? What's wrong with this dude? Allow me to explain.
Whenever I find myself in a crowded place, I will always find this women in front of me. The one with the massive arm swing. She may be tall, short, skinny, or fat, but there she'd be. Whenever I see her on her backswing, my heart races, my pupils dilate, sweat pours through my pores, and I wail with terror (like in a manly way). Simply put, I'm afraid that her arm will hit me in my gentlemen's area. An area that I place a rather high value upon.
If she happens to be holding a heavy metal purse in her hand, the fear is multiplied several-fold.
So there it is, one of my deepest, darkest fears.
What? Did you expect me to have another intellectual debate?
Give me a break, I'm tired of thinking.
YSunday, September 30, 2007
Why Are You Even Here? Labels: Thought Of The Day
Last fake update for a long long time.
I promise.
YSunday, August 26, 2007
Bragging Rights Labels: Thought Of The Day
This is a little something that I came up with a while ago. Some of you would have heard it before, but right now I can't think of anything else to write about that I can complete in 3 minutes. Here we go.
Guy: Hey dude. I haven't seen you in a while. How are things?
Dude: I drive a big red Mercedes.
Guy: Wow! You must be rich. What company do you work for?
Dude: SBS.
YSunday, August 19, 2007
A Necessary Evil Labels: Thought Of The Day
I've been told that it's about time I made this decision. Everyone around me has done it already. My parents are nagging me. I know that if I leave it too late, then I will regret my decision. I just have to deal with it. That's just how life is.
If some dude in his mid-30s stumbled upon my blog, he would think I was about to get married. But no, I'm still a kid, and marriage isn't really an issue at hand.
Funny how getting married and studying sound so alike.
I need my CCDE. If I don't I'm going to have to downgrade on of my subjects, and I would have wasted a year learning crap that isn't particularly useful.
I had a great weekend.
Feasting with SJI buddies. The crowds at Orchard were terrifying. The queues long. The 5 of us were hungry. We were also cheapskate. One of our us lived conveniently nearby. So we went to Cold Storage at 8pm, and bought grilled chickens, pork knuckles and a bottle of cordial. Dinner cost us $8 each. We feasted until we could feast no more. That night, we dined in hell. It was glorious.
As Ivan would have put it ever so succinctly, "Bomb sex man."
Lunch Movie and Dinner with Yeewen Chara and Bingjian. Lots of fun, nonsense, and laughter. Rush Hour 3, a dumb but a funny movie. We went to Taka, then Lido, Grand Cathay, to Wisma, back to Taka, and finally to Paragon.
Looks like I won't get to enjoy these sort of things for awhile. The exams beckon.
Why am I writing about my weekend? I remember sometime in the distant past I stated that I would not do so. Hmm.
YMonday, July 2, 2007
Swimming Labels: Spontaneously Spouting Silly Stuff, Thought Of The Day
Sometimes I ponder about meaningless things.
Case in point: Swimming
I used to enjoy swimming. I don't anymore. Because I did something stupid. I sat down, and I thunk. (I didn't even know this was a proper word. Other than being a form of "think", it is also, and I quote, "an abrupt, dull sound". I didn't know sound effects were considered to be actual words in the English language. Fascinating. If that's the case, then shouldn't things like "Zish" and "Piang" and "KabooOOooOOoom!" be considered words in the English language as well?) Anyway, I thunk hard, like really super hard. I had just went swimming, and after a few minutes, I just realised that swimming is the most disgusting physical activity that one can partake in.
Sorry if I'm gonna ruin swimming for you.
Human beings are living creatures. Therefore to survive, we must respire. Dissolved oxygen can be found in abundance in water, but since we are not fish, we cannot obtain it. As such, to breathe while swimming, we must come to the surface, and open our mouth to suck in air. Therein lies to problem. No matter how meticulous we try to be, when we breathe while swimming, some water will go in our mouths, and some will go out. So, to put it simply, when you go swimming, you are swimming in the saliva of 500 people. When you breathe in while swimming, you are swallowing 500 peoples' saliva.
While swimming, every single part of a person's body is in contact with the water. So basically, while swimming, your body is being exposed to water that has been tainted with the unholy touch of other people's feet, noses, armpits, and other body parts. I do not wish to go into further detail.
Finally, kids use swimming pools. Kids are stupid. They do stupid things. Sometimes I wonder what it is that clouds their judgment. I doubt it is their intention, but they do horrendous things. Kids piss in the pool. Seriously. I know of people, who shall remain unnamed, that have done so. They did it because "the toilet was far". However, this desecration of public facilities is not a one-time event, it is an ongoing affair. Therefore, whenever I see kids from Fairfield Methodist Primary School splashing around in ACJC's pool, I cringe.
So the next time, on a hot July's day, when the sun is beating ferociously on your backs, and you think longing of the cool water lapping against the side of the pool, it's crystal clear surface beckoning you to dive right in, recall what I've said. Try not to gag.
YTuesday, April 10, 2007
Let Us Delve Into The Unknown Labels: Thought Of The Day
"This sucks badly."
An oft-repeated phrase that can be heard being uttered as one traverses the many hallways of the various institutions of education and knowledge across our proud country. It can refer to a variety of things. I would rather not say, lest I be persecuted for my opinions.
However, let us take a closer examination at the phrase, and analyze its intended meaning. Be warned, the truth will set you free.
I have come up with two interpretations.
1. To begin with, "sucks badly" can be considered one phrase. Thus "sucks badly" is the description of "this". It would mean that the magnitude of suckage would be considered to be very high. That would give the phrase the meaning of "I am in a terrible situation" or something else similar.
2. The "badly" refers to "sucks". Hence it can be interpreted as "this" is very bad at sucking, which would inadvertently mean that "this" doesn't suck in the least bit, and perhaps could even be said to, might I say, rule. This would give a completely opposite meaning from the one derived in my first interpretation. The second meaning of the phrase would be similar to "My current circumstances are enviable."
It would seem, that with my inconclusive conclusion, I haven't really done anything of considerable significance. However, there is one lesson to be learned today. You would do well to commit it to memory, for it may have an impact on your existence. This fact will change your life.
Today, we have learned, that I have too much free time on my hands.
YThursday, March 29, 2007
What Is Your Impression? Labels: Thought Of The Day
Why is it some people like to consistently quote great thinkers, philosophers, intellectuals or whoever else in their conversations?
Is it because they find it necessary to demonstrate to the entire world how well-read they are?
Or is it because they can't come up with anything of their own with any sort of substance or value and are thus forced to borrow from others whom are far cleverer than themselves?