YSunday, January 6, 2008

Apparently, I Have Been Tagged.

I shall indulge Meryl in her childish little activity. Too tired to think of anything else to write about. Shall write about Orientation soon. With Pictures.

Instructions:
1. Do the following WITHOUT complaint.
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged.
4. Start your post with; I have been tagged!

Favourites
Favourite Color: Who cares?
Favourite Food: Point-point rice
Favourite Movie: Superbad?
Favourite Sport: Soccer
Favourite Day of the Week: Sunday Mornings
Favourite Season: Winter
Favourite Ice Cream: The kind that is cold.

Currents
Current Mood: Relaxed
Current Clothes: Wouldn't you like to know?
Current Desktop: What does this mean?
Current Time: 10:37p.m.
Current Surroundings: Home
Current Annoyances: This thing.
Current Thoughts: Why am I so awesome?

Firsts
First Best Friend: Can't remember his name.
First Crush: Margaret Thatcher
First Movie: Power Rangers?
First Lie: I don't lie.
First Music: Michael Learns To Rock

Lasts
Last Drink: Water.
Last Car Ride: Do you honestly care?
Last Crush: Hilary Clinton
Last Phone Call: Home
Last CD Played: Jamie Scott and The Town, Park Bench Theories

Have you evers?
Have you ever dated one of your best friend: I came from a boy's school.
Have you ever broken the law : I was walking around in a group of 20 yesterday. Gasp!
Have you ever been arrested?: No
Have you ever been on TV: No, but I've been in the papers. The picture was of an MP, and I was in the background.
Have you ever kissed someone you don't know: No.

Random 5 things you are good at: Breathing, walking, eating, sleeping, talking.

4 things you've done today: Wake up, watch tv, eat pulled noodles, write this crap.

3 things you can hear right now: Music. Fan. Lights.

5 People to tag: No one! I refuse to follow this rule! I am the bad boy of blogging.

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Blogged @ 10:27 PM

YMonday, December 31, 2007

The New Year Is Here

What would be able to succinctly describe my feelings regarding the new year?

Perhaps some pictures?

Hmm... Let me see what I can find. Ahh. Here they are.


Happy New Year, sumbitches! RAHHH!


WOOHOO! Yeah baby! Rock on!

While people are out partying and counting backwards tonight, I shall be at home relaxing, awaiting the dawn of a new day.

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Blogged @ 2:00 PM

YMonday, November 19, 2007

Look At This Sincere And Heartfe...

I'm lazy.

Click here.

Thanks guys. All of you. Every last one.

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Blogged @ 4:14 AM

YSunday, May 6, 2007

Laziness Is A Virtue

Oh dear. I've realized that I haven't posted an update in 2 weeks. I cannot allow that to happen. So here I am, preventing the occurrence of a travesty of such epic proportions.

I'm not dead. I've not become a vegetable. My body has not been shattered to a million indiscernible pieces. I'm alive and well.

Anyway, I do still have opinions to force down other people's throats, and ideas that I believe everyone deserves to hear about, so watch this space.

Meanwhile, if you're interested in what goes on in my life, you can go visit Javier's blog. He should have a writeup/photoshoot-with-N95-camera-which-he-wants-to-show-off-to-the-entire-world regarding our activities this pass weekend so, go take a look. If it's not up yet, scold him.

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Blogged @ 10:08 PM

YFriday, April 6, 2007

Desperation

Sweet merciful God. Look what Wayne has brought upon me.

He's forced me to do this.

These are the rules: Each player of this game starts out by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog!

I'm losing the will to live.

It pains me to think how far I've fallen. Is this a bottomless pit into which I've been thrust unwillingly, doomed to forever sink lower and lower into the depths of mediocrity, and eventually, into that which is (gasp!) below average?!

Anyway, I am certain that sometime in the past I foolishly stated that I would post updates every Thursday and Sunday. That was, on hindsight, a terrible mistake. First of all, I am not an everlasting fountain gushing forth with fantastical thoughts and ingenious ideas. I cannot come up with new material on a constant basis. I do suffer from mental blocks occasionally. Secondly, I am prone to have the occasional bout of tiredness or fatigue. Sometimes there's homework to be done. Other times, movies need to be watched. Everything has their own personal needs. I can't let those go unnoticed.

So, from now on, I'll update whenever I want to.

To be honest, this game that Wayne has dragged me into was a godsend. At least now I don't have to come up with anything else to write about for the next few days. Thank you Wayne, this pointless exercise that you have bestowed upon me. You have my gratefulness.

Now, without more time wasting, I present to you,

The 6 Weird Things About Me.

1. I don't tell lies.

2. I spend too much money on headphones. (way too much)

3. I am in a sports-based CCA, but I don't particularly enjoy physical activities.

4. I have no PSLE certificate.

5. I read TIME magazine. From back to front. Every Issue.

6. I am an SJI boy.

So there you have it. It was quite a struggle to come up with all that. I guess I'm pretty normal. Or am I? Perhaps normal people think of themselves as being unique or special, so the belief that I am normal is a deviation from normalcy. Now I'm supposed to tell get 6 other friends to play this inane game, but I'm not going to do that. Why? Because I want to be special.

Take that, Wayne Teo.

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Blogged @ 2:09 PM

YSunday, March 25, 2007

Tears Of Joyful Exuberance and Sad Remembrance

Oh dear me. It appears my descent into the common and uninspiring has not reached it's climax yet. Previously I gave you a recount of my day, which I must admit, even shocked myself. Yet today, I sink even lower. Will this never end? The next time you see me, I may even write for "Today" or (let it not be so!) The New Paper.

So today, I bring to you yet even more inconsequential (but hopefully) interesting tripe.

With that tone, let's begin today's memorial service.

I forgot to mention, today's post marks another milestone for me. (Yes, I appear to have many milestones.) Anyway, it's the first time I'm going to show pictures that I've taken myself. Not those taken off the internet. Please excuse the grainy images and untrained photography.

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(Notice the extremely classy and expensive Oakley pouch.)

Today, we are gathered across cyberspace, in a memorial for our dear sweet friend, whom has been an important part of my life, for several years. We are here for you, Sony Ericsson T630.

Cliche as it may be, it seemed like only yesterday when we first met. Me, a mere child, innocent and curious, who had yet to explore the world and understand the truths of the universe. You,
were sent to me, like an angel, at first we were strangers, and since then, we've spent many days constantly by each other's side.

When you were first presented to me, I thought nothing of you. I was brash, and self-assured. I could do everything on my own. I didn't need the help of anyone. In my mind, the world was my oyster. But it was you, your wisdom and your quiet reserve showed me I was utterly wrong. You were the window into my soul. I could see that I had much to learn, and that I would need help along the way, in my journey of life.

As the days trickled past, like a meandering stream through a green meadow under a cloudless brilliant blue sky, you helped me immensely. You showed me the importance of keeping in touch with valued friends. You kept me entertained in times of boredom, with your wide array of games. You were the one that camwhored with me, when no one was willing to do so, condemning me "freak".

However, as the days wore on, like the passage of time, through the seasons of Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, you reached the winter years of your life as well. You bore many scars across your body, the etchings of wind and weather. And some were, I ashamed to say, the effects of my carelessness, as well as my wrongdoings. Yet you wore your scars with pride, as if they made your life more worth living. The scratches on your face, the worn and faded markings of your family name, the pockmarked surfaces of your body. To you, they were meant to be showed off, reminders of the challenges of life.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Yet, even you couldn't withstand the ravages of time. Your arm became weak and unresponsive, your stamina low, your hearing a fraction of what it used to be. When you no longer responded to my touch, I knew that your time was almost at an end. I didn't want to let you go, but I knew it was for the best, and was the better alternative, as compared to watching your body waste away even further, turning you into a shadow of your once proud self.

Farewell, my dear T630, your life has enriched mine beyond compare, my memories of you will remain forever, in the sweet remembrance of our friendship.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Farewell.

T630, perhaps the greatest gift to me, is the constant reminder of you, through the image of your son, K610im.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

The resemblance is uncanny. And he's just like you, follows all your patterns, responds the same way that you do, the only difference is the energy that comes with youth. He is most definitely your son. I look forward to telling him grand stories of our exploits.

Parting can be such sweet sorrow. The wounds will probably never heal, but yet, there is hope. The hope of a better future, and that hope lies, simply, in the children of the world.

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Blogged @ 9:47 PM

YTuesday, March 20, 2007

A Voyage Into Familiar Territory (Part Two)

I continue my cookie-cutter post describing my life. However, I'm the mold of my cookie-cutter is somewhat unique. I'm writing about what happened on a Friday. Today is a Tuesday. Chances are, I may have forgotten what happened and just make something up. You wouldn't know the difference anyway. I also happen to have a point at the end of this post. Really.

So anyway, after my OG Outing, I went to play pool with my secondary 4 classmates. When I got to the pool hall, I was greeted with a sight to behold. We had 4 tables, and about 15 people came. Our most successful class outing was held only after we had disbanded. It was interesting to meet up with them after they had adjusted to JC life, and seeing how they had changed, and remained the same. Sean Poh, with his chemically enhanced bosom that could rival even the most well endowed female. His chest seemed to be even bigger than before (if that's possible), no doubt due to his strict regime of workouts, and diet of pure protein. Jared Dass, whose massive ego made him self-delusional, seemed to have an even higher opinion of himself. He told me that he got into RJC through "Sex Appeal" as well as "Handsomeness". Zachary Tay, whom I've sparred with previously in many a lightsabre fight, and had too many conversations with regarding Pokemon, seemed to have lost some of the essence (lameness) of that made him Zachary. However, I believe this is just a temporary lull in his Force Powers, and he will make a quick recovery to power and awesomeness. From what I hear, he's also quite the lady's man in NJC.

What can I say, I've got interesting friends. Oh yea. Albert, Zac, and Sean Poh. You guys owe me money. $5.

So anyway, pool was fun and full of nostalgia. It turned out I wasn't as bad as I thought. Or maybe it's just that my friends suck more than me. What happened next surprised me. I was also supposed to meet a group of Sec2 classmates on the very same day as well. I hadn't planned on actually doing it, but they appeared at the same pool hall that day. The events that next transpired can actually be found on Javier's blog. So if you're interested, go visit his blog and make him feel happy by increasing the counter. It will make him all warm inside.

Don't you dare accuse me of being lazy. He did a satisfactory job, with even photos and videos, so why should I bother to repeat the same things he said? This is called 'Making Good Use Of Your Friends". Come back when you're done. So once the event in Javier's blog unfolded, it was already far too late for me to go home. And I couldn't bear to part with the money required to take a taxi. So I had only one choice left. Stay at my friend's house. He lives in Orchard. Rich kid.

At his house, considering the fact that we were SJI boys, you know what we did. We did gay things. Because we're all gay. Every single one. I can't stress this enough. Because it's true. Go tell all your friends.

I woke up the next morning, finding the friend whom actually lived at the house curled up on the floor, clutching a blanket with shivering fingers, his face close to someone's pair of dirty socks, and myself sharing a bed with one of my friends. It was astounding that both of us could fit on a single bed. I'm round, and he's like 8 feet tall. We can, apparently, bend the laws of physics. One of our secret SJI techniques, I suppose.

I left the company of my friends only in the afternoon.

Friends are an important part of my life. They are an important part of everyone's life. We laugh, we cry, we smile. We enjoy each other's company. We cheer each other on in times of hardship and struggles. We shed tears for each other's losses and downfalls. However, you can't expect to be best friends with everyone. It takes time to develop the bond between friends. Intimacy takes time. I've known my Sec2 classmates for slightly over 4 years, Sec4 classmates for slightly over 2, and OG friends for only a few months. I'm sure you can guess which people I'm closest to in general. There's nothing wrong with any of my friends. They are all good people, with their own quirks that make them special. I'm thankful for all of them.

There are friends with whom you have to organize outings and less than half of them turn up, then there are friends with whom you can just walk up to without saying "hi" or giving any sort of acknowledgment, and just get on with things. Finally, there are friends with whom you can sit with chatting till the buses are no longer running, stay overnight together having no prior arrangements, and share a bed without any awkwardness or hesitation.

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Blogged @ 9:50 PM

YSaturday, March 17, 2007

A Voyage Into Familiar Territory. (Part One)

Today marks a milestone in my "career" as a writer. No, I haven't signed any contracts, neither have I sold my soul to corporate investors, nor have I shouted out to the whole world my shallowness and materialism by publicly gloating that I received a free nose job.

I'm not that stupid.

Anyway, I vaguely remember in the past I stated that I wouldn't, to a large extent, talk about my life, because I'm boring. But today is different. I must talk about how I spent Friday 16th March 2007. I simply must. It was exceptional. It was astounding. It was spectacular. Hearing about it will change your life.

Please don't be angry if today's post sucks. I just hate being criticized. I hate it so bad. It makes me hurt inside.

Anyway, I had training in the morning. It started at 830. I reached school at 900. Training was pretty uneventful, except for two things. The first thing was that I learned how to spin and throw the discus. Like the way the pros do it at the Olympics. Except without the obscene shouting and groaning and other noises. And without the distance. It's quite difficult. (I guess I'll talk about this another time. I realize I'm quite long winded.) The second interesting that happened was that we had a "Throwers' Meeting". Our coach is from China, and hence he can only converse fluently in his first language. Unfortunately, his first language isn't my first language. You see, SJI and AC have made me into a person who loves English with an undying and everlasting passion.

I'm the type of person who goes: "HuaYuCool? What does FlowerFishCool mean? Are you high?"

Hence, with my pathetic inability to communicate in my native tongue, combined with the coach's thick Chinese accent, I was rendered utterly clueless. But I do know he wasn't happy. I can see people's faces. I can interpret people's expressions. Later I found out from (I swear this is true. I don't make the stereotypes. I just see them.) my friend who was from RV, that he wasn't scolding us, and that he didn't say anything that we couldn't observe on our own, or didn't already find out for ourselves.

After training, I rushed to Vivocity for my OG outing. It was interesting, to say the least. When I first arrived, there were 5 people, including me. Four of them were girls. I was not. Am not. Will not be. I had to admit, it was somewhat awkward. They would girltalk, I would walk a few paces behind. Trying hard to think about something else. Anything else. They negotiated about where we would have lunch. I stared into space impassively. Contrary to Javier's belief, I'm not fussy.

Fortunately, a guy soon came. Unfortunately, that guy was Elson. For those of you who don't know Elson, he's the stickman in ACJC. He's from SJI as well. So he's weird. And gay. We all are. Because you see, SJI injects every new boy with their special SJI serum. (Don't tell anyone. It's classified information.) It makes us weird. And gay. This is all in our plan for world dominations. We shall be the founding fathers of a magnificent new society. We will topple the oppressive tyrants who dare proclaim themselves defenders of democracy. Onward! For Glory! SJI! SJI! SJI!

It was a sight to behold. Two boys. One was bony and angular, the other, fleshy and curvy.

After that, I'm horrified to admit, we went shopping. It was a harrowing ordeal. 2 guys, following 6 girls around a shopping mall. I did learn several things though. Girls are weird. Some like to hang M&Ms on their ears. Others prefer to have mismatched biscuits dangling from their earlobes, completely unaware of the danger of hungry hobos just running up to them and biting their ears in a desperate quest for stray morsels of food. Some like to wear shoes with belts on them. Don't ask me why. Then there are those who, in their desire to look good, have taken to slaughtering countless mermaids and mermen, for their shiny and reflective scales, to make shoes stained with blood. The blood of fictitious mythical creatures.

I didn't know this, but guys and girls shop differently. For a guy, like a normal guy, not Javier, he will go shopping when he needs to. He goes into a shop, sees something he likes, tries it on, and pays money for it. Simple as that. There are certain variations, including buying things without trying them on, (I'm guilty) or maybe even heading straight for the discount racks.

Girls on the other hand, shop for fun. I cannot comprehend that. They walk around, rifle through the hangers, touch everything, feel the materials, look at the price tag, make comments, and then, walk out.

To stave off the fast approaching insanity that would engulf our minds and turn us into zucchinis, Elson and I came up with ingenious idea. In order to keep the retard sickness at bay, we would act like retards so the retard molecules would think we were already retards and not try and inject us with their retard seedlings which would spawn and multiply and make us into retard drones that are retarded.

Ya. We doed that.

Polka dotted dressed were just old and moldy. Tops became dresses for really short girls. Dresses became singlets for really tall girls, and they needed to be tucked in. Purses turned into pencil cases. Skirts transformed into curtains. And necklaces and bracelets were candy.

Though it may seem unlikely at this time, I do have a point. However, that is for the second part of this post. I remember someone said my posts were too long. This is my solution to it. Cut the essay into half.

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Blogged @ 9:01 PM

YSunday, January 14, 2007

The Various And Wonderfully Dissimilar Forms Of Deyong

I'm sure at some point in your life, you would've uttered the phrase "That guy, he's quite a character!" at least once. Now, if you have indeed made that statement before, then I would have to assume that you made the assumption that people's characteristics are fairly constant. Meaning, that the way someone acts in general has been decided the day he or she was conceived, and that the nature of the person can be easily predicted based on past behavior. So an annoying prick will always be an annoying prick. However, I would tell you that this assumption is not at all correct, and in having thought it to be correct, you have made an ASS of U and ME.

It may be true that a person's basic character will always be the same, as in, an honest person will usually be honest. However, there are many factors, such as surroundings, time, mood, weather, and situation, that can drastically alter the way a person may speak or act. For example, a generally congenial and friendly person may become irritable due to the weather.

I myself, know that my personality can vary greatly. It's a strange phenomenon, but it's pretty cool. Thus, I have come to the pointless point of this post. With this post, I hope to keep detailed observations and records of the various forms of Deyong that exist, all of course, for the greater good of humankind. I require no recognition for my noble work, my only desire is that it is not used for wrongdoings.

"Normal" Deyong

"Normal" Deyong is the Deyong that we all know and love. However, he is not at all normal, in fact, he is somewhat of a weirdo, after all, he did spend 4 years at SJI. He enjoys good jokes, and making fun of Javier. He is pretty much a nice guy. "Normal" Deyong is incredibly witty, smart, clever, intelligent, and mature. He is also very modest. At times, he is lazy, and likes to take his own sweet time.

Homosexual Deyong


This Deyong does not exist. He never did, and he never will.

Chao Ang Mor Deyong

Chao Ang Mor Deyong is a minor derivative of "Normal" Deyong. He is somewhat of an enigma, some say he exists, others say he is nothing but a myth. Rumors are, he was created, in all of the places, Japan. The story goes that "Normal" Deyong was studying at an international school in Tokyo, which was based on an American system. Everyone there spoke with an American accent, and being the Singaporean Chinese that he was, Deyong had a strong longing and desire to find acceptance. He did this through careful mimicry of tone and structure of their spoken language. Over time, Deyong was so fluent and natural with his American accent, that Chao Ang Mor Deyong was born. Chao Ang Mor Deyong has the same basic characteristics of "Normal" Deyong, only he speaks with a distinct cosmopolitan American accent.

Now that Deyong is back in Singapore, this form has gone back into hiding, waiting for its chance to spring back to life. It has been said that this form will only appear if the conditions are right, such as if a white guy is present, or if Deyong visits a foreign country. Sightings of this reclusive creature are highly irregular.

Shy Deyong

Shy Deyong is a very under utilized form. Appearances are rare, and when they do occur, they do not last long. Shy Deyong is a defense mechanism that was created in order for "Normal" Deyong to deal with the traumatic experience of meeting new people. Shy Deyong does not talk much, he basically just sits and listens. He is completely uninteresting and is never well received.

As of this moment, Deyong is in the phase of transforming from Shy to "Normal" form.


Lustful Deyong

This form was created shortly after Deyong began the process of becoming a man. Fortunately, "Normal" Deyong has the willpower to keep Lustful Deyong in check. As of now, Lustful Deyong is completely powerless and docile. This was done in order for Deyong to concentrate on his studies, so that next time he can get a good job and make tons and tons of cash. The next expected return of Lustful Deyong would be in 2011, shortly after "Normal" Deyong finishes NS.

Prone-to-Aggression Deyong

This is another trigger-based form. Deyong will only take this form should he be repeatedly provoked or distracted by some minor annoyance. Once in this form, Deyong will be consumed with his rage, and just beat the crap out of whatever the hell may be disturbing him. Common triggers include Zhao Loong, annoying pricks, and stupidity.

These are the current known researched and documented forms of Deyong. If there are any new sightings or discoveries, please inform the Society of Archiving Deyong's Life (SADLife) immediately. Thank you.

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Blogged @ 11:56 AM