YMonday, July 2, 2007

Swimming

Sometimes I ponder about meaningless things.

Case in point: Swimming

I used to enjoy swimming. I don't anymore. Because I did something stupid. I sat down, and I thunk. (I didn't even know this was a proper word. Other than being a form of "think", it is also, and I quote, "an abrupt, dull sound". I didn't know sound effects were considered to be actual words in the English language. Fascinating. If that's the case, then shouldn't things like "Zish" and "Piang" and "KabooOOooOOoom!" be considered words in the English language as well?) Anyway, I thunk hard, like really super hard. I had just went swimming, and after a few minutes, I just realised that swimming is the most disgusting physical activity that one can partake in.

Sorry if I'm gonna ruin swimming for you.

Human beings are living creatures. Therefore to survive, we must respire. Dissolved oxygen can be found in abundance in water, but since we are not fish, we cannot obtain it. As such, to breathe while swimming, we must come to the surface, and open our mouth to suck in air. Therein lies to problem. No matter how meticulous we try to be, when we breathe while swimming, some water will go in our mouths, and some will go out. So, to put it simply, when you go swimming, you are swimming in the saliva of 500 people. When you breathe in while swimming, you are swallowing 500 peoples' saliva.

While swimming, every single part of a person's body is in contact with the water. So basically, while swimming, your body is being exposed to water that has been tainted with the unholy touch of other people's feet, noses, armpits, and other body parts. I do not wish to go into further detail.

Finally, kids use swimming pools. Kids are stupid. They do stupid things. Sometimes I wonder what it is that clouds their judgment. I doubt it is their intention, but they do horrendous things. Kids piss in the pool. Seriously. I know of people, who shall remain unnamed, that have done so. They did it because "the toilet was far". However, this desecration of public facilities is not a one-time event, it is an ongoing affair. Therefore, whenever I see kids from Fairfield Methodist Primary School splashing around in ACJC's pool, I cringe.

So the next time, on a hot July's day, when the sun is beating ferociously on your backs, and you think longing of the cool water lapping against the side of the pool, it's crystal clear surface beckoning you to dive right in, recall what I've said. Try not to gag.

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