YSunday, January 14, 2007

The Various And Wonderfully Dissimilar Forms Of Deyong

I'm sure at some point in your life, you would've uttered the phrase "That guy, he's quite a character!" at least once. Now, if you have indeed made that statement before, then I would have to assume that you made the assumption that people's characteristics are fairly constant. Meaning, that the way someone acts in general has been decided the day he or she was conceived, and that the nature of the person can be easily predicted based on past behavior. So an annoying prick will always be an annoying prick. However, I would tell you that this assumption is not at all correct, and in having thought it to be correct, you have made an ASS of U and ME.

It may be true that a person's basic character will always be the same, as in, an honest person will usually be honest. However, there are many factors, such as surroundings, time, mood, weather, and situation, that can drastically alter the way a person may speak or act. For example, a generally congenial and friendly person may become irritable due to the weather.

I myself, know that my personality can vary greatly. It's a strange phenomenon, but it's pretty cool. Thus, I have come to the pointless point of this post. With this post, I hope to keep detailed observations and records of the various forms of Deyong that exist, all of course, for the greater good of humankind. I require no recognition for my noble work, my only desire is that it is not used for wrongdoings.

"Normal" Deyong

"Normal" Deyong is the Deyong that we all know and love. However, he is not at all normal, in fact, he is somewhat of a weirdo, after all, he did spend 4 years at SJI. He enjoys good jokes, and making fun of Javier. He is pretty much a nice guy. "Normal" Deyong is incredibly witty, smart, clever, intelligent, and mature. He is also very modest. At times, he is lazy, and likes to take his own sweet time.

Homosexual Deyong

This Deyong does not exist. He never did, and he never will.

Chao Ang Mor Deyong

Chao Ang Mor Deyong is a minor derivative of "Normal" Deyong. He is somewhat of an enigma, some say he exists, others say he is nothing but a myth. Rumors are, he was created, in all of the places, Japan. The story goes that "Normal" Deyong was studying at an international school in Tokyo, which was based on an American system. Everyone there spoke with an American accent, and being the Singaporean Chinese that he was, Deyong had a strong longing and desire to find acceptance. He did this through careful mimicry of tone and structure of their spoken language. Over time, Deyong was so fluent and natural with his American accent, that Chao Ang Mor Deyong was born. Chao Ang Mor Deyong has the same basic characteristics of "Normal" Deyong, only he speaks with a distinct cosmopolitan American accent.

Now that Deyong is back in Singapore, this form has gone back into hiding, waiting for its chance to spring back to life. It has been said that this form will only appear if the conditions are right, such as if a white guy is present, or if Deyong visits a foreign country. Sightings of this reclusive creature are highly irregular.

Shy Deyong

Shy Deyong is a very under utilized form. Appearances are rare, and when they do occur, they do not last long. Shy Deyong is a defense mechanism that was created in order for "Normal" Deyong to deal with the traumatic experience of meeting new people. Shy Deyong does not talk much, he basically just sits and listens. He is completely uninteresting and is never well received.

As of this moment, Deyong is in the phase of transforming from Shy to "Normal" form.

Lustful Deyong

This form was created shortly after Deyong began the process of becoming a man. Fortunately, "Normal" Deyong has the willpower to keep Lustful Deyong in check. As of now, Lustful Deyong is completely powerless and docile. This was done in order for Deyong to concentrate on his studies, so that next time he can get a good job and make tons and tons of cash. The next expected return of Lustful Deyong would be in 2011, shortly after "Normal" Deyong finishes NS.

Prone-to-Aggression Deyong

This is another trigger-based form. Deyong will only take this form should he be repeatedly provoked or distracted by some minor annoyance. Once in this form, Deyong will be consumed with his rage, and just beat the crap out of whatever the hell may be disturbing him. Common triggers include Zhao Loong, annoying pricks, and stupidity.

These are the current known researched and documented forms of Deyong. If there are any new sightings or discoveries, please inform the Society of Archiving Deyong's Life (SADLife) immediately. Thank you.

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Blogged @ 11:56 AM