YMonday, December 3, 2007

Growing Up

Last week I participated in a CIP at some primary school. I was promised that I would be handsomely rewarded with some words printed on my CCA records, commending me for my supposed service to the community, and that the "job" itself would be quite easy.

It was not easy.

My main task was to facilitate a group of young students around while they played games and took part in various activities. That day, I learned that to facilitate means to lead, cheer on, resolve conflicts, entertain, scold, cajole, and serve. (As in really serve, not leadership serve. Whatever that means.)

Children are fascinating. Not in a complicated or disturbing sense. But in more of a... simple sense. They are such simple creatures. They can experience a myriad of emotions, ranging from anger, to joy, even sadness, and disappointment, all within a few moments of each other. Simple things can trigger their emotions. There was this boy, one moment he was crying, and the next moment his face was lit up by a genuine smile. They experienced delight in eating sandwiches. They seemed to be truly enthusiastic about this treasure hunt game they were playing, as if it were all that mattered. It just seemed to me that they were so set on doing whatever they wanted to, without a care in the world. All the kids were just bursting with energy. Even during break times, when all the facilitators were absolutely exhausted, the kids still brought out all manners of balls (don't think dirty) to their school courts and carried on playing.

I then looked at myself. Oh how things change in such a short time. Here I am, only 17 years young, and I've already lost many of my childhood qualities. I've become exceedingly cynical for someone who is still a teenager. I find myself playing mind games and trying to manipulate people without consciously setting out to do it. I don't find myself all that enthusiastic about anything that I do. I've forgotten how to savour all the simple pleasures in life. In my race to adulthood, I've forgotten to look back from whence I came.

It saddens me to know that those kids I led around that day would soon grow up to be like me. As I reach adulthood, middle-age, and finally my twilight years, I wonder what will become of me.

Sometimes when you help people out, you end up reaping so much more than you sow. All I gave was a dozen or so hours of my time, and I got back an important life lesson.

Oh, to be a kid again.

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Blogged @ 10:24 PM