YThursday, January 25, 2007

#2. Ancient History

Okay. I admit it. I'm an attention whore. I need to be the main attraction. I crave the adoration of screaming fans and the hysterical cheers of overly enthusiastic supporters. That's why it is such a torturous feeling, not knowing how many people read my blog. I need to know whether 5 or 500 people pay attention to me. I would rather than know the cold hard truth than fill my mind with delusions of grandeur.

So, read my blog. Cause my counter to count. Make me feel warm and happy inside.

Anyway, here's today's completely and utterly pointless piece of trivia.

Native Americans aren't actually native to their land. If you take a look at any world map, you would realize that Europe, Africa, Asia, and even Australia are somewhat interconnected. (You could island hop from say, Indonesia to Australia.) So, if a primitive caveman was feeling rather bored, he could, theoretically, walk from France to China. So, my point is, there wasn't any real means for which caveman could go to the Americas.

There weren't exactly many Trans-Atlantic ships about 20,000 years ago. Neither was there an over-abundance of airplanes back then. So the Americas were unpopulated by humans. Then, came the ice age hit. So everything became really cold. The coldness made water turn to ice, so many of the world's water bodies froze. The Bering Strait was one such feature that froze. The Bering Strait is basically a narrow body of water that links two land masses. It connects the easternmost point of Asia to the westernmost of America. So with the Bering Strait frozen, it had essentially created a massive ice bridge from Asia to America. Alright! So, some really really REALLY bored primitive men and women decided they had nothing better to do that to walk across the Bering Strait in freezing cold weather with nothing but dead animal skins to protect themselves. Hence, the first Native Americans came to be.

This may come as a shock, but I actually have a point in this post. You know how Chinese people (alright, basically all Asian people in general) have this thing where they like to migrate to other countries in search of better living conditions? Asian people are EVERYWHERE! So, what I'm trying to say is, this tendency could have been passed down through thousands of years from the cavemen, who were our ancestors. Maybe the primitive caveman was being badly treated, maybe he was always hungry, or he didn't have anyone to pleasure him. As a result, he decided to run away to a new land were food scarcity was not an issue, a place where he could have many sex partners.

Don't believe me? Have you seen any Native Americans recently? Don't they look Asian to you?

Did I just blow your mind?

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