YMonday, December 18, 2006

SM Goh : Rename Our Streets.

For those of you who are bored out of your minds, you would have probably read in our local papers about SM Goh Chok Tong suggestion to have several roads named after minor colonial officials changed to honour Singapore's pioneers instead. "Those names really had not much significance for future Singaporeans. For another generation of Singaporeans or two generations from here, I think those names would have very little meaning," said Mr Goh.

Okayyy, but, what makes him think that future generations of Singaporeans will find meaning in Singapore's pioneers? Maybe he's out of touch with the youth of our nation, being like old and all. I guess he doesn't know this, but teenagers, the future of our nation, the ones who will raise Singapore to greater glory, the pride and joy of our hardworking parents, don't really care about anything, other than ourselves. To us, life is just a potpourri of Crumpler bags, movies, overpriced cellphones, bitching about others, and billabong (interesting sidetrack. Billabong actually refers to a part of a river, where it leads to a dead-end channel. It is not some word made up by pot-smoking beer-drinking Aussie surfer dudes after a night of putting shrimp on the barbi, while wrestling crocs and calling each other "mate".) Sad, but very true. How do I know about the degree of our apathy? Just ask your average teenager, "What are your thoughts on Temasek's takeover of ShinCorp?". Be prepared for a stunned look, with perhaps slack jaws or wide eyes for added effect. So, my point is, that teenagers, to put in bluntly (and in our crude language), don't give a shit about our road names.

The thing is, I feel that none of our street names have any meaning or significance at all. To me they are just places, however, it's the memories that took place at the specific locations that conjure up feelings. Like "Oh that's Changi Village, where I had my first, of many, sexual encounters with men. (not true)", or "******* Road, where I go to buy Ecstacy (also not true)". In the past road names had meanings. Orchard Road was called Orchard Road because it was full of orchards. (Surprising, isn't it?) Beach Road was next to the beach, and Dhoby Gaut was where people went to do laundry. What about now? Orchard Road and Dhoby Gaut are big shopping centres, and Beach Road is the centre for buying army crap.

Changing road names is an impractical idea. A few of you will remember when our pragmatic government hired some FT (Foreign Talent) to rename Marina Bay. In the end, at the fair price of $400,000, they renamed Marina Bay... Marina Bay. Now, imagine if they had actually renamed it something else, it would have been SO much more trouble! (Not to mention cost our pragmatic government much more money) Not only that, it would wreak havoc among taxi drivers and travel guides and tour agencies. Imagine the chaos. Taxi drivers driving around in circles, foaming at the mouth, lost in Toa Payoh, which has been renamed LKY Road. Construction workers furiously knocking down those thingies that say Yio Chu Kang Gardens, and putting up Zubir Said Gardens. Tour agencies becoming bankrupt from having to reprint all their brochures. Babies crying, women weeping, men screaming. Oh the humanity!

You know what I think Singapore should do, instead of renaming our streets? Calculate the supposed amount of money needed to rename all our streets, including replacement of signs, payment of workers, and other miscellaneous fees. When they arrive at a lump sum, write a check, and give it to me. That way, at least one person will be happy.

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Blogged @ 10:59 PM